I Always Wondered Why Babies Spend So

Economists Can Certainly Disappoint You. One Said That The Economy Would Turn Up By The Last Quarter. Well, I'm Down To Mine And It Hasn't.

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.

I Had A Terrible Fight With My Wife On New Year's Eve. She Called Me A Procrastinator. So I Finished Addressing The Christmas Cards And Left.

The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining, Remember That Your Garbage Disposal Probably Eats Better Than 30 Percent Of The People In The World

Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children - It Leaves Your Midsection Unprotected.