His Finest Hour Lasted A Minute And

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

If I Wore A Peek-a-boo Dress, It Would Be Like Turning In A False Alarm.

My Timing Is So Precise, A Heckler Would Have To Make An Appointment Just To Get A Word In.

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.