Got Bin Laden And Interrupted Celebrity Apprentice?

According To A New Poll, The Number Of Americans Who Trust Hillary Is Dropping. Specifically Into A Hole That Hillary Covered With Leaves.

If You're A Sports Fan You Realize That When You Meet Somebody, Like A Girlfriend, They Kind Of Have To Root For Your Team. They Don't Have A Choice.

I'm So Excited. Jay Leno Is On The Show Tonight. He Brought Some Really Funny Jokes And Some Great Stories. Although I'm A Little Concerned He Also Brought His Old Desk And Kevin Eubanks. I Just Want Jay To Be Comfortable, But Not Too Comfortable.

According To A New Poll, 48 Percent Of Americans Believe That Hillary Clinton Is Honest And Trustworthy. Then Hillary Said, 'actually I Just Made That Poll Up.'

Today Is Earth Day. Environmentalists Spent The Day Drawing Attention To The Earth, While The Earth Just Spent The Day Checking Facebook To See Which Planets Wished It A Happy Earth Day.