Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage,

I'm A Great Lover, I'll Bet.

I Was Walking Down The Street The Other Day And These Construction Workers Were Working On The Roof Hammering Away. One Of Them Told Me I Was A Paranoid Lunatic... In Morse Code.

I'm Not As Good A Swimmer As I Used To Be - Thanks To Evolution.

I Started Doing Stand-up At The Age Of 20. This Was Back In 1976, Around The Time (coincidence?) That The First Comedy Clubs Were Starting. The Young Comedians Of Today Gasp When I Tell Them How Many Shows I Did That First Year: 500. Five Nights A Week.

I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How Often Do You Find A Corpse?