George Bush Says, 'gore's Book Needs A

What Is Kanye West's Message? Like Most Rap, "i Am The Greatest Person Ever And You're Not." I Used To Call It Affirmative Action For The Ego.

I Want To Just Take A Moment To Thank The Teabaggers. Thank You So Much For Helping Us Pass Health Care, For Resurrecting The Obama Presidency. I Know They're Saying, 'why Are You Thanking Me? I Was So Against It, I Marched On Washington With Tea Bags Hanging Off My Founding Fathers Costume, With A Gun On My Hip And A Picture Of Obama Dressed As Hitler, Screaming About His Birth Certificate.' And America Saw That And Said, 'i Think I'll Go With The Calm Black Man.'

The Reason I Love My Dog So Much Is Because When I Come Home, He's The Only One In The World Who Treats Me Like I'm The Beatles.

New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans Must Remember That Politicians Are Like A Box Of Chocolates. We Bite Into Them To Find Out What's On The Inside Only To Discover That Democrats Are Too Often Soft And Gooey And Republicans Are Mostly Nuts.

It's All Been Satirized For Your Protection.