Gay Marriage, I Am So Against It

The First Rule Of Survival Is: Make Your Own Rules. The Hell Anyone Thinks About The Way You're Acting; Listen Only To Yourself.

Every Comedian Is Furious. Age Makes Me Angry. I'm Unhappy At Not Being Able To Open Packages Anymore. I'm Angry That Libraries Have Gone. I Hate Children On Planes. I'm Very Shallow, So They Tend To Be Little Things. To Be Honest, I Think I Was Probably Angry The Day I Was Born, You Know, About Diapers Or Something.

Comedy - And I Say This With Humility - Comedy Needs Me.

Elizabeth Taylor Has More Chins Than The Chinese Telephone Directory.

With Age Comes Wisdom. You Don't Need Big Boobs To Be Feminine. Look At Liberace.