Freedley: Will I Feel Better After I

I Tried To Resist His Overtures, But He Plied Me With Symphonies, Quartets, Chamber Music, And Cantatas.

The Main Obligation Is To Amuse Yourself.

One Stifling Summer Afternoon Last August, In The Attic Of A Tiny Stone House In Pennsylvania, I Made A Most Interesting Discovery: The Shortest, Cheapest Method Of Inducing A Nervous Breakdown Ever Perfected. In This Technique..., The Subject Is Placed In A Sharply Sloping Attic Heated To 340 F And Given A Mothproof Closet Known As The Jiffy-cloz To Assemble.

As For Consulting A Dentist Regularly, My Punctuality Practically Amounted To A Fetish. Every Twelve Years I Would Drop Whatever I Was Doing And Allow Wild Caucasian Ponies To Drag Me To A Reputable Orthodontist.

I Guess I'm Just An Old Mad Scientist At Bottom. Give Me An Underground Laboratory, Half A Dozen Atom-smashers, And A Beautiful Girl In A Diaphanous Veil Waiting To Be Turned Into A Chimpanzee, And I Care Not Who Writes The Nation's Laws.