Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

When Jack Benny Has A Party, You Not Only Bring Your Own Scotch, You Bring Your Own Rocks.

It's One Of The Old Show Business Axioms. No Matter How Successful You've Been, There's Always A Younger And Sexier Seal Coming Along.

I Can't Understand Why I Flunked American History. When I Was A Kid There Was So Little Of It.

I Would Go Out With Women My Age, But There Are No Women My Age.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.