Christians Talk As Though Goodness Was Their

Phyllis Schlafly Speaks For All American Women Who Oppose Equal Rights For Themselves.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

Where Some People May See Loving Grandparents, I See A Pair Of Feckless Boobs Who Can't Drive, Take Way Too Long To Shop, And Don't Even Have The Most Basic Grasps On The New Technology. As A Staunch Supporter Of The Principles Of Darwinism, I Think That Advances In Modern Medicine Are Starting To Overrule The Survival Of The Fittest, And It's To Our [youngers'] Detriment.

Democrats Believe People Are Basically Good But Must Be Saved From Themselves By The Government. Republicans Believe People Are Basically Bad But They'll Be Okay If They're Left Alone.

As An Old Reporter, We Have A Few Secrets, And The First Thing Is We Try The Phone Book.