Bp Has Put More Birds In Oil

Do You Remember When You Found Out There Was No Santa Claus? I Was So Upset I Didn't Think I'd Be Able To Do The Show.

Here In New York City You Can Now Walk Around Smoking Weed And All They Will Do If They See You Is Write You A Ticket. Unfortunately, The Ticket Will Be To A Jets Game.

Happy Cinco De Mayo. In Honor Of Cinco De Mayo, Mayor Bill De Blasio Is Filling All New York City Potholes With Guacamole.

Did You Hear What The Republicans Have Said About Hillary Clinton? They Say She's Too Angry To Be President. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, Too Angry To Be President. When She Heard This, Hillary Said, 'oh Yeah? I'll Rip Your Throats Out, You Bastards.'

I Have Found That The Only Thing That Does Bring You Happiness Is Doing Something Good For Somebody Who Is Incapable Of Doing It For Themselves.