Before Doing My First Open Mic, I

This Sounds Like A Brag, But I Know How To Make Good Fried Rice. I Learned In College. There Are Two Secrets - Take The Rice After You Cook It And Let It Get Cold In The Fridge. Then Cook The Egg Like You're Making A Fried Egg And Just Before It's Done, Dump The Rice And Veg On It And Swirl It Around.

I Look Pretty Nondescript. I Don't Go Out Of My Way To... I Don't Express My Personality With My Clothes, With My Car Or My, You Know, House. I Express With My Personality; So As Far As What I Wear - I Don't Really Care About That.

I Mean, All Alternative Comedy Is Are Comedians That Have Being Doing It For So Long, For So Long, That They Were Relaxed Enough To Start Becoming Personal On Stage.

What I Was Trying To Say In That Bit, Without Saying It Out Loud, Is That There Were Things - You're Right, Everything Is Very Politicized These Days, Literally Down To What Kind Of Coffee You Drink - That I Used To Fight With People About. And By The Way, Not Just People Like Republicans And Christians, But Liberal Friends Of Mine And Very Radical Left-wing Types, And Alternative, Indie Types.

I've Gotten Very Cynical And Kind Of Anhedonic About All The Things I Have To Do To Get To Do Comedy: All The Travel, Hotels, And Airports.