Attack Life, It's Going To Kill You

The Trouble With The Jokes Is That Once They're Written, I Know How They're Supposed To Work, And All I Can Do Is Not Hit Them. I'm More Comfortable Improvising. If I Have Just Two Or Three Ideas And I Know How The Character Feels, What The Character Wants, Everything In Between Is Like Trapeze Work.

If Women Are Breadwinners And Men Bring Home The Bacon, Why Do People Complain About Having No Dough? I'm Confused. Also Hungry.

And Of Course I Don't Go Anywhere Without My Pet Goldfish, Anthrax. I Always Tell Security I'm Carrying Anthrax. Yeah, Sure I Get A Lot Of Guff About It, But It's A Family Name; I'm Not Changing It.

One Day,i Might Be Able To Tell My Grandkids I Interviewed The Last President Of The United States.

I'm Getting Angry At Liberals.