And George Carlin Was A Guy That

People Have Been Telling Me I'm A Failure And That I'm Doing It All Wrong For 20 Years Now. Never Trust Anybody When They Tell You How Your Story Goes. You Know Your Story. You Write Your Own Story.

It's Not Like Someday My Kid's Gonna Be Standing Over My Grave, And Somebody's Gonna Hang Her A Folded Flag And Say, "you Know What? This Is 'cause He Did 24 Hours Straight On Twitter." But It's Just One Of Those Little Personal Victories, Like, "i Wonder If I Can Do This." And I Did It. A Stupid Goal, But I Accomplished It. Life's All About...for Me, At Least...having Very Stupid Achievable Goals. That Way, You Always Feel Like A Winner.

In This Life, If You Don't Celebrate Yourself, Nobody Will.

Dudes Know I'm Not A Threat. Chicks Know I'm Not A Threat.

So I Know How I Watch Movies Which Is On My Laptop, Man. And That's How I Suspect A Lot Of People Do It.