List of Joan Rivers Quotes

I Was Absorbing A Sorry Truth Of Show Business - Rejection Is The Norm And Acceptance The Oddity. I Was Learning To Cut The Tops Off My Highs And Stay With The Lows Where The Rejections And Letdowns Would Be Shallow.

The Nice Thing About Viagra Is That They Are Proving Men Can Go Blind On It, So You Can Gain Weight And Have A Great Sex Life.

The Only Way I Can Get A Man To Touch Me At This Age Is Plastic Surgery.

I Could Stop And Live Carefully But That's Ridiculous. I Don't Want To Live Carefully.

I Think It's Time They Knew The Truth About Beethoven.

What We Do Is A Calling...we Make People Happy.

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying.

I Adore My Apartment In New York. It Was A Ballroom That I Remade, So It's Like A Loft But Done By Louis The Fifteenth.

My Body Is A Temple, And My Temple Needs Redecorating.

Russell Brand Has Announced That He Plans To Write A Series Of Children's Books. First Up: 'horton Hears A Heroin Dealer.'

That Baby Is So Ugly... I've Never Seen A Six-month-old So Desperately In Need Of A Wax.

Everyone Thinks Angelina Jolie Was The First Celebrity Baby Hoarder, But She Wasn't. Before Angelina There Was Mia Farrow. Mia Had An Entire Farm Full Of Children. I Think She Got Them At Costco.