List of Dennis Miller Quotes

It's Nice To Be Included In The Broadcast Food Chain.

I Like The Show [factor] Because It's Horny, But It's Not Skeevy. Where Else Are You Going To Get That Nowadays?

When You're Sharing A Mud Hole With A Wildebeest Derriere In Sub-saharan Africa, That's A Living Hell.

I Think [ann Coulter] Understands That, She's Pavlov's Dog. She Gets The Corn Kernel If She Hits That Drum Once In A While.

When Your Mother Starts Using The Word "party" As A Verb About Her Kid, That's Absolutely Crazy.

The Way I've Always Governed My Life As Far As Fiscal Policy Goes Is I'm Smart Enough To Know That I'm Dumb About It, So I Surround Myself With Smart People In Much The Same Way A Hole Surrounds Itself With A Doughnut. I Just Pay Things Off. That's All I Do.

Any Time Your Parent Says They Party With You, That Is Its Own Form Of Child Abuse.

I Think The People Can Bash Catholics Because They Know Catholics Won't Kill Them. Quite Frankly, There's Some Religions Out There, You Bash And They're Going To Kill You.

Everybody Is Full Of Crap. The Coin Of The Realm Is Being Full Of Crap. The Best People - Being Full Of Crap Are Our Leaders And Our Superstars.

Drop The Veneer Periodically And Be Like "ok, I'm An Imperfect Human. Let's Try To Get Through This."

Half The People I Look Who Are Health Food Addicts Look Sickly To Me. Let's Start Taxing Health Food. Somebody Force A Burger Down Some Of These People's Jaw Because They Look A Little Pale And Wan To Me.

The Very Definition Of The Innate Hollowness Of Leading A Political Life When You End Up On Your Nearest And Dearest Moments Or Most Personal Evenings With Donors. That Should - That Should Tell You All You Need To Know About The Ramble That Is Politics.