You Take A Normal Guy, Give Him

You Might Be A Redneck If It's Easier To Spray Weed Killer On Your Lawn Than Mow It.

Thank God I'm At That Point In My Career Where I Don't Have To Take Stuff That I Don't Really Want To Do.

Please Don't Get Me Wrong Here. I'm Not Making Fun Of Old People. In Fact I Think That's The Goal Of Everybody Here Tonite. We All Want To Be An Old Person Someday.

We Probably Stagnate Our Children's Emotional Growth By Not Letting Them Have Some Separation From Us.

You Might Be A Redneck If Exxon And Conoco Have Offered You Royalties For Your Hair.