You Say You’re Sick, Huh? Well, It

That Woman Was Sexy. . . . Out Of Your League? Son, Let Women Figure Out Why They Won't Screw You. Don't Do It For Them.

On Furnishing One's Home - Pick Your Furniture Like You Pick A Wife; It Should Make You Feel Comfortable And Look Nice, But Not So Nice That If Someone Walks Past It They Want To Steal It.

Writing A Book Is Incredibly Pleasurable, But Very Solitary. You Have Total Control, But Sometimes That Can Drive You Insane.

I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories About Growing Up With My Father And I Wanted People To Be Able To Enjoy Them Individually, But Also The Entire Book As A Whole.

If It's Not Bourbon Or Sweatpants, It's Going In The Garbage.... No, Don't Get Creative. Now Is Not A Creative Time. Now Is A Bourbon And Sweatpants Time.