You Might Be A Redneck If You're

You Might Be A Redneck If You Had To Remove A Toothpick For Wedding Pictures.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Grandmother Has Ever Been Asked To Leave A Bingo Game Because Of Her Language.

I'm Very Lucky In That I've Gotten To Do A Lot Of Things. But If You Ever Put A Gun To My Head And Said, "you Can Only Do One," I'd Think It Would Be Stand-up. I Think It's The Coolest Job In The World.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

If You're A Man And You've Ever Been Antique Shopping During A Big Football Game, You're Either Gay Or Married.