You Might Be A Redneck If You're

If Your Mother Doesn't Remove The Marlboro From Her Lips Before Telling The State Trooper To Kiss Her Ass, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Vehicle Has A Two-tone Paint Job - Primer Red And Primer Gray.

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Had To Remove A Toothpick For Wedding Pictures.

All These Years I've Sat In Airports And Kind Of Drawn People And Put Like Far Side Captions On Them.