You Know, We Do A Lot Of

Sometimes I'm Dragging My Ass Out To The Airport At 8 A.m. On A Saturday And I'm Wondering Why I'm Doing This, But Once I Walk On Stage I Know Why...because I'm Addicted.

My Father Said, Bring Along Your Best Girl. This Is Something You Say To A Pimp!

The President Had A Press Conference About This This Week And He Said That The U.s. Has No Plans To Attack North Korea. And Then He Added, 'like Having No Plan Ever Stopped Me Before.'. He Has Something Even More Deadly In Store For Them - We're Going To Bring Them Democracy.

You See, The Difference Is The Republicans' Hatred Of Obama Is Based On A Paranoid Feeling About What He Might Do, What He's Thinking, What He Secretly Wants To Change. Anger With Bush Was Based On What He Actually Did. What Bush Was Thinking Didn't Matter. Because He Wasn't.

The Idea That Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus Is A Bunch Of Bullshit. Treat Her Like You Would A Friend, And You'll Wind Up With A Lover.