You Gotta Risk It To Get The

The Department Of Agriculture Announced That It Will Ban Six New Strains Of E. Coli. Which Explains Why The Hot Dog Vendor Outside My Building Is Now Just Selling Napkins.

During A Recent Event At A Restaurant Called Tommy's Country Ham House In South Carolina, Presidential Candidate Ben Carson Delivered A Speech Right After He Lost His Front Tooth. Which Still Left Him With More Teeth Than Everyone Combined At Tommy's Country Ham House.

A New Study Found That Women Gain More Weight After Marriage, But Men Gain More Weight After A Divorce. Yeah, The Divorce Usually Takes Place After Men Point Out That Women Gained More Weight After Marriage.

A Clothing Company Is Making T-shirts Inspired By Bernie Sanders With Messages Like 'feel The Bern.' They Were Gonna Make Them For Lincoln Chafee Too, But No One Wants To Wear A Shirt That Says 'feel The Chafee.'

I Never Sing In The Shower. It's Very Dangerous.