You Can't Be Bad Ass In A

If You Aim To Be Big, You Will Be Big. And That's Not A Pun About My Size.

If I'm Drinking I Can Either Be The Nicest Guy Ever Or I'm The Guy You Should Leave Alone.

My Favorite People To Have Fun With Are Police Officers 'cause They're So Serious, You Know.

If I Speak Spanish In My Show, Which Sometimes I Do, I Translate What I Say. I Make It Where I Can Still Be Myself, But I Make It To Where Everybody Knows What The Hell Is Going On And When Everyone Leaves, They're Like "ok, I Get It."

I Don't Want To Die Tomorrow Knowing I Could've Had A Piece Of Cake Tonight.