Yesterday President Obama Said, 'we Can't Continue

Today The Justice Department Released E-mails Where Walker Criticized America. In The E-mails He Said He Never Wanted To Set Foot In America Again. See, That's The Good Part About Hanging Somebody. Their Feet Don't Touch The Ground.

I'm Sure You Know By Now, Jesse Jackson Was Overheard Saying, And I'll Put This More Delicately, That He Wanted To Cut Barack Obama's Testicles Off. And Jesse Has Been On Several News Programs The Last Couple Of Days, Explaining What He Meant By Those Comments. Do You Need To Explain That?

President Bush Said It's Now Time For A Change In Iraq And He Wants Them To Have A Western-style Democracy Like Ours. So Right Now In Iraq, The Economy Is Collapsing, Businessmen Are Corrupt, And Hussein Wants His Son To Take Over As President. Sounds Like Mission Accomplished.

If You Don't Want Your Dog To Have Bad Breath, Do What I Do: Pour A Little Lavoris In The Toilet.

What's The Difference Between Lindsay Lohan And Rick Perry? It Only Takes Lindsay Four And A Half Hours To Finish A Sentence.