Whether Dark Presages Of The Night Proceed

The Great Art In Writing Advertisements Is The Finding Out Of A Proper Method To Catch The Reader's Eye; Without Which, A Good Thing May Pass Over Unobserved, Or Lost Among Commissions Of Bankrupt.

An Ostentatious Man Will Rather Relate A Blunder Or An Absurdity He Has Committed, Than Be Debarred From Talking Of His Own Dear Person.

The Lives Of Great Men Cannot Be Writ With Any Tolerable Degree Of Elegance Or Exactness Within A Short Time After Their Decease.

When I Behold A Fashionable Table Set Out In All Its Magnificence, I Fancy That I See Gouts And Dropsies, Fevers And Lethargies, With Other Innumerable Distempers Lying In Ambuscade Among The Dishes. Nature Delights In The Most Plain And Simple Diet. Every Animal But Man Keeps To One Dish. Herbs Are The Food Of This Species, Fish Of That, And Flesh Of A Third. Man Falls Upon Everything That Comes In His Way; Not The Smallest Fruit Or Excrescence Of The Earth, Scarce A Berry Or A Mushroom Can Escape Him.

The Only Way Therefore To Try A Piece Of Wit, Is To Translate It Into A Different Language: If It Bears The Test You May Pronounceit True; But If It Vanishes In The Experiment You May Conclude It To Have Been A Punn.