Whenever Something Good Happens To Me, It's

No, I Am A Crier And If People Ever Saw Me Privately They Would Be Shocked At What A Bowl Of Mush I Am Underneath It All.

You Know, When You Do Standup There Are Certain Requirements That You Have To Do Like You Have To Go On Stage And When You Get Introduced You Have To Say "hey,how Ya Doin'? How Are Ya?" I Couldn't Do It. It Was False.

I'm Surprized Hitler Didn't Round Up The Toupee People.

Hitler Really Ruined That Mustache For Everybody. It’s Really An Interesting Mustache, But Now, No One Can Wear It.

The Lunch In A Normal American Restaurant Is Very Problematic For Me. I Don't Like To Have Hot Food For Lunch.