When You Meet Someone You Really Like

I Spend So Much Time On The Internet...i Feel Like I'm A Million Pages Into The Worst Book Ever, And I'm Never Going To Stop Reading.

I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

I Can't Think Of Any Bank Robbery Comedy Where It's About Two Normal Guys. It's Kind Of Like Superbad Meets Heat, Which Is A Cool Combo, And It's Just Fun Doing A Normal Guy That's Robbing A Bank.

Comedians Don't Have Hits. You Have To Have A Whole Brand-new Hour. You Have No Hits To Rely On.