When You Go To The Mind Reader,

Them Bats Is Smart. They Use Radar!

I Have Nothing Against The North Koreans But This Kim Jong Un Has Got A Screw Loose. A Member Of His Cabinet, His Security Minister, Nods Off, Falls Sleep. We've All Done It. Kim Jong Un Takes The Guy Out And Has Him Executed, Just For Just Falling Asleep. Oh, And He Was Also Deflating Footballs.

To Label Jason Randal A Magician Does A Disservice. You'll Think The Laws Of Physics, Nature, The Universe Itself Have Been Suspended. He's As Good As Houdini Was At His Best!

Let Me Just Say This: You Know Your Campaign Is Not Going Well When You Open A Press Conference By Saying, 'i Told You There Would Be More Lewd Photos'.

President Bush Wants To Build A Space Station On The Moon. And From The Moon, He Wants To Launch People To Mars. You Know What This Means. He's Been Drinking Again.