When You Get Ready To Write Your

Mrs. Zuppa Was Coming In From Bingo Just As I Was Leaving The Building. "looks Like You're Going To Work," She Said, Leaning Heavily On Her Cane. "what Are You Packin'?" "a Thirty-eight." "i Like A Nine-millimeter Myself." "a Nine's Good." "easier To Use A Semiautomatic After You've Had Hip Replacement And You Walk With A Cane," She Said. One Of Those Useful Pieces Of Information To File Away And Resurrect When I Turn Eighty-three.

You Gonna Take The Case?" It's Not A Case. It's A Missing Person. Sort Of." You're Gonna Have A Devil Of A Time Finding Him If It Was Aliens," Grandma Said.

Adaptation Is One Of The Great Advantages To Being Born And Bred In Jersey. We're Simply Not Bested By Bad Air Or Tainted Water. We're Like That Catfish With Lungs. Take Us Out Of Our Environment And We Can Grow Whatever Body Parts We Need To Survive. After Jersey The Rest Of The Country's A Piece Of Cake. You Want To Send Someone Into A Fallout Zone? Get Him From Jersey. He'll Be Fine.

Turns Out, That's How It Is With Weddings. You Just Keep Getting In Deeper And Deeper Until You Want To Throw Up.

I Am Not Menopausal. I Just Wanted Half An Hour Alone. Is That Too Much To Ask? A Crappy Half Hour!