When I Did The Sitcom I Was

My Father-in-law Gets Up At 5 O'clock In The Morning And Watches The Discovery Channel. I Don't Know Why There's This Big Rush To Do This.

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.

You Might Be A Redneck If Going To The Bathroom Involves Shoes And A Flashlight.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Christmas Present Was A Painting On Black Velvet.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Home Shopping Channel Operator Recognizes Your Voice.