What The New Yorker Calls Home Would

After Two Years Studying What Rewrite Men Did With The Facts I Phoned Them, I Knew That Journalism Was Essentially A Task Of Stringing Together Seamlessly An Endless Series Of Cliches.

Unpleasant Questions Are Being Raised About Mother's Day. Is This Day Necessary? . . . Isn't It Bad Public Policy? . . . No Politician With Half His Senses, Which A Majority Of Politicians Have, Is Likely To Vote For Its Abolition, However. As A Class, Mothers Are Tender And Loving, But As A Voting Bloc They Would Not Hesitate For An Instant To Pull The Seat Out From Under Any Congressman Who Suggests That Mother Is Not Entitled To A Box Of Chocolates Each Year In The Middle Of May.

Few Expected Very Much Of Franklin Roosevelt On Inauguration Day In 1933. Like Barack Obama Seventy-six Years Later, He Was Succeeding A Failed Republican President, And Americans Had Voted For Change. What That Change Might Be Roosevelt Never Clearly Said, Probably Because He Himself Didn't Know.

Grass Is The Least Rewarding Of All Status Symbols... The Grass Does Nothing But Drink Money, Exhaust Energies, Crush Spirits, Destroy Sleep, Create Tensions And Interfere With The Watching Of Baseball Games, And Sprout Insolent Signs Ordering Humans To Keep Off It.

The Young Cult Of Sociology, Needing A Language, Invented One. There Are Many Dead Languages, But The Sociologists' Is The Only Language That Was Dead At Birth.