In Every Spoof I Make Real Love

If God Wanted Us To Fly, He Would Have Given Us Tickets.

I Knew It... I'm Surrounded By Assholes!

In Real Life People Fart, In The Movies, People Don't. Why Not? Farts Are A Repressed Minority. The Mouth Gets To Say All Kinds Of Things, But The Other Place Is Supposed To Keep Quiet. But Maybe Our Lower Colons Have Something Interesting To Say. Maybe We Should Listen To Them. Farts Are Human, More Human Than A Lot Of People I Know. I Think We Should Bring Them Out Of The Water Closet And Into The Parlor.

I Make People Laugh For A Living. I Believe I Can Say Objectively That What I Do I Do As Well As Anybody. Just Say I'm One Of The Best Broken Field Runners That Ever Lived. For 35 Years I Was A Cult Hero, An Underground Funny.

With The Birth Of The Artist Came The Inevitable Afterbirth... The Critic