Well I Thought My Razor Was Dull

If Income Tax Is The Price You Have To Pay To Keep The Government On Its Feet, Alimony Is The Price We Have To Pay For Sweeping A Woman Off Hers.

I Came Here For A Party And What Do I Get? Nothing. Not Even Ice Cream.

I, Not Events, Have The Power To Make Me Happy Or Unhappy Today. I Can Choose Which It Shall Be. Yesterday Is Dead, Tomorrow Hasn't Arrived Yet. I Have Just One Day, Today, And I'm Going To Be Happy In It.

Why, I'd Horse-whip You If I Had A Horse.

When I Invite A Woman To Dinner, I Expect Her To Look At My Face. That's The Price She Has To Pay.