We're A Heart Attack Away From Losing

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

Buying A Used Rental Car Is Kind Of Like Going To A House Of Ill Repute Looking For A Wife. Anything That's Been Driven That Hard By That Many People, You Really Don't Want To Put Your Key In It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That Beef Jerky And Moon Pies Are Two Of The Major Food Groups.

If Your Biggest Tax Deduction Was Bail Money, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If Santa Claus Refuses To Let Your Kids Sit In His Lap.