We Parents Ask Dumb Questions, Therefore We

Suddenly, This Romantic Agony Was Enriched By A Less Romantic One: I Had To Go To The Bathroom. Needless To Say, I Couldn't Let Her Know About This Urge, For Great Lovers Never Did Such Things. The Answer To "romeo Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?" Was Not "in The Men's Room, Julie.

I Feel That In-person Contact With People Is The Most Important Thing In Comedy. While I'm Up On Stage, I Can Actually Put Myself Into The Audience And Adjust My Pace And Tuning To Them. I Can Get Into Their Heads Through Their Ears And Through Their Eyes. Only Through This Total Communication Can I Really Achieve What I'm Trying To Do.

Nothing I've Ever Done Has Given Me More Joys And Rewards Than Being A Father To My Children.

A Father... Knows Exactly What Those Boys At The Mall Have In Their Depraved Little Minds Because He Once Owned Such A Depraved Little Mind Himself. In Fact, If He Thinks Enough About The Plans That He Used To Have For Young Girls, The Father Not Only Will Support His Wife In Keeping Their Daughter Home But He Might Even Run Over To The Mall And Have A Few Of Those Boys Arrested.

All Children Have Brain Damage!