We Have To Fight Them Daily, Lake

I Don’t Want To Be Anything Special. I Only Want To Try To Be True To That In Me Which Seeks To Fulfill Its Promise.

A Desire To Kneel Down Sometimes Pulses Through My Body, Or Rather It Is As If My Body Has Been Meant And Made For The Act Of Kneeling. Sometimes, In Moments Of Deep Gratitude, Kneeling Down Becomes An Overwhelming Urge, Head Deeply Bowed, Hands Before My Face.

I Keep Remembering From My Early Student Days How I Would Walk At Night Through The Streets, My Hands Bunched Into Fists In The Pocket Of My Coat, My Head Hunched Deep Into My Collar, And How I Used To Say, 'i Want To Work, I Shall Work'--and Then I Would Come Back Home And Be So Exhausted By My Determination That I Had No Strength Left To Do The Actual Work.

Sometimes I Feel That Every Word Spoken And Every Gesture Made Merely Serve To Exacerbate Misunderstandings. Then What I Would Really Like Is To Escape Into A Great Silence And Impose That Silence On Everyone Else.

Before, I Always Lived In Anticipation . . . That It Was All A Preparation For Something Else, Something "greater," More "genuine." But That Feeling Has Dropped Away From Me Completely. I Live Here And Now, This Minute, This Day, To The Full, And The Life Is Worth Living.