We Have Defeated Saddam Hussein And Iraq.

They Figured Out A Way To Control That Hamburger Disease. You Dip The Hamburger Into The Scalding Hot Coffee Before Eating.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Has New Balloons This Year Including The Pillsbury Doughboy Balloon And The First Openly Gay Balloon. Also The Thomas Tank Engine Balloon, And They Even Have The Ebola Nurse Balloon.

Osama Bin Laden... Lived In One House For, Like, Six Years With Three Wives. And Earlier Today, They Ruled His Death Was A Suicide.

How Many People Saw Arnold's Speech Last Night? I Haven't Seen That Many Kennedys In One Place Since Their Last Trial.

There's Some Kind Of A Thing Where When She Was Secretary Of State She Was Using Her Own E-mail Instead Of The State Department, And I Thought Finally, A Clinton Scandal The Entire Family Can Enjoy.