We Don't Do Sensible Things. This Is

Also, In The Category Of 'obvious But Still Shocking,' An Animal Called A 'killer Whale' Killed Someone Who Was Trying To Play With It. Now, No One Knows Exactly What Enraged The Whale, But Earlier In The Week, It Had Been Thrown Off A Flight By Southwest Airlines.

When You Get People Who Are Out Of Office, Suddenly Their Tongues Loosen Up And Suddenly They Say The Things That You Wish They'd Said Or Did When They Were In Office.

I Want To Thank Some Very Special People Without Whom I Would Not Be Here Today. George Bush, Sarah Palin And The Pope. When I Came To Hollywood In 1983, I Had One Dream. To Sleep With Jodie Foster. That Didn't Work Out, But This Is Nice, Too.

Disneyland's A Mess. And It's Not Just The Measles. Donald Duck Has Bird Flu. Pocahontas Has Small Pox. The Little Mermaid Has Crabs. And The Monorail? Mono.

I Want To See Riots! I Want To See The Kind Of Riots Where Cab Drivers Are Afraid To Pick Up White People! I Want To See This Guy!