War Will Exist As Long As There's

Self-interest Leads To Honing Your Skills, The Better To Trade With.

Social Security Is A Government Program With A Constituency Made Up Of The Old, The Near Old And Those Who Hope Or Fear To Grow Old. After 215 Years Of Trying, We Have Finally Discovered A Special Interest That Includes 100 Percent Of The Population. Now We Can Vote Ourselves Rich.

As I Get Older, All Sorts Of Things Become Less Funny. Once One Has Children, Any Cruelty Involving Children Becomes Far Less Amusing Than When One Was At The Mercy Of One's Friends' And Relatives' Children.

Government Conspiracy? They Can't Even Deliver Our Mail And It's Got Our Address On It And Everything!

Smoking Crack Is A Way For People Who Couldn't Afford College To Study The Works Of Charles Darwin.