Tomorrow Is Your Future's Yesterday.

For Me, Comedy Should Have A Certain Amount Of Joy In It. It Should Be About Attacking The Powerful - The Politicians, The Trumps, The Blowhards - Going After Them. We Shouldn't Be Attacking The Vulnerable.

The Most Popular Valentine's Day Gift Is Chocolate. In The 1800's, Doctors Told Their Patients To Eat Chocolate To Get Over A Broken Heart. They Also Thought If You're Going To Be Alone, Who Cares If You Get Fat.

I Always Appreciated My Teachers. When I Was 16, I Gave Them The Greatest Gift I Could Think Of. I Dropped Out Of School.

These Days, Young People Watch Tv On Smartphones And Computers. Young People With An Actual Tv Set Are Harder To Find Than A Picture Of Anthony Weiner With His Clothes On.

North Korea Announced That They Have Nuclear Weapons And They Have No Plans To Give Them Up. The White House, Acting Quickly, Announced Their Plan To Invade Iran.