Today, John Kerry Announced A Fool-proof Plan

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.

George W. Bush Even Stopped In Pennsylvania To Try His Hand At The Lotto And Gave Up When He Could Only Think Of The Numbers 4 And 17

Maria Shriver Is Credited With Helping Arnold Win By Standing By Him Despite Allegations Of Groping. She Had To Stand By Him Cause Arnold Had A Vice Grip On Her Left Ass Cheek.

Federal Authorities Have Informed Martha Stewart's Lawyers She Will Be Indicted For Her Role In The Imclone Insider Trading Scandal. Good News For Martha - Stripes Are Back In This Year.

You May Have Heard This, That Nasa Discovered Water On Mars When He Heard About The Water On Mars, President Bush Said, 'is It Regular Or Unleaded?'