To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas,

I Have A Professional Acquaintance Whose Recent Eyelid Job Has Left Her With A Permanent Expression Of Such Poleaxed Astonishment That She Looks At All Times As If She Had Just Read One Of My Books.

Why Do I Hate People? Who Else Is There To Hate?

Showing Up At School Already Able To Read Is Like Showing Up At The Undertaker's Already Embalmed: People Start Worrying About Being Put Out Of Their Jobs.

Americans Respect Talent Only Insofar As It Leads To Fame, And We Reserve Our Most Fervent Admiration For Famous People Who Destroy Their Lives As Well As Their Talent. The Fatal Flaws Of Elvis, Judy, And Marilyn Register Much Higher On Our National Applause Meter Than Their Living Achievements. In Amerca, Talent Is Merely A Tool For Becoming Famous In Life So You Can Become More Famous In Death - Where All Are Equal.

Insecurity Breeds Treachery: If You Are Kind To People Who Hate Themselves, They Will Hate You As Well.