This Country Hates Professors. It Likes Toby

I'm Not Defending What Cory Booker Said. I'm Saying I Understand Why He Has To Kiss The Asses Of The Rich People On Wall Street, Because There's No Other Way To Keep His City Afloat.

Look At The List Of Liberals Who Are Active In Politics, If Not Running. Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Springsteen, Spielberg... And Then You Look At The Conservatives, It's Like Chuck Norris, Bo Derek And The Gatlin Brothers. I Don't Know If Being Liberal Makes You More Right, But It Does Seem Like It Makes You More Talented.

Anything Is Depressing If You Dwell On It. The Fact That Religion Could End The World? Yeah, I Guess That Could Be Considered Depressing. But Considering That There's Also A Lot To Laugh At, I Think It's A Good Balance.

Your Fuselage Shouldn't Open More Easily Than Your Pretzel Bag.

Mitt Romney Comes From A Mormon Background. I Don't Know How Many Wives He Has. I'm Not Saying That I Believe In That, I'm Just Saying He Was Born On A Mormon Compound. I'm Not A 'wifer' But For Some Reason He's Never Shown His Original Marriage Certificate.