There's So Much Spectating Going On That

Etiquette Is The Grease That Makes It Possible For All Of Us To Rub Together Without Unnecessary Overheating.

I Worry About People Who Get Born Nowadays, Because They Get Born Into Such Tiny Families--sometimes Into No Family At All. When You're The Only Pea In The Pod, Your Parents Are Likely To Get You Confused With The Hope Diamond. And That Encourages You To Talk Too Much.

People Who Say You're Just As Old As You Feel Are All Wrong, Fortunately.

After That [father's Death] I Never Cried With Any Real Conviction, Nor Expected Much Of Anyone's God Except Indifference, Nor Loved Deeply Without Fear That It Would Cost Me Dearly In Pain. At The Age Of Five I Had Become A Skeptic And Began To Sense That Any Happiness That Came My Way Might Be The Prelude To Some Grim Cosmic Joke.

Caution: These Verses May Be Hazardous To Your Solemnity.