There's No Such Thing As Soy Milk.

In New York, F*** Isn't Even A Word. It's A Comma.

Parenting Isn't Just Parenting Your Own Child.

Mtv Is To Music As Kfc Is To Chicken!

There Is Absolutely Nothing You Can Learn Out Of One Bllodeshot Eye.

The Worst Thing About Halloween Is, Of Course, Candy Corn. It's Unbelievable To Me. Candy Corn Is The Only Candy In The History Of America That's Never Been Advertised. And There's A Reason. All Of The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911. And So, Since Nobody Eats That Stuff, Every Year There's A Ton Of It Left Over.