The Worst Thing That Can Happen For

But I Think You Can Make Fun Of Anything As Long As It's Funny Enough.

When I Was 17, I Read A Profile Of Carol Leifer. Since Then, I Wanted To Be Her. I Still Want To Be Her.

Nothing Is Taboo If You Have An Angle On It. That Said, Critiquing Women's Human Shells Isn't My Thang. Though There's Probably Something Funny Or Interesting To Be Said About Those Who Do It, And What That Comes From.

All Comics Want To Be Musicians. There's A Part Of Me That Wants To Be A Serious Musician. I Love Songs About Heartache And Heartbreak.

When I Was 9 Or 10 Years Old, My Dad Took Me Over To A Neighboring Farm To Help Get Stuff For The Meal. The Farmer, Vic, Told Me To Look At All The Turkeys And Pick One Out. I Saw A Cute One With A Silly Walk And Cried, 'him!' Before My Pointing Finger Had Even Dropped To My Side, Vic Had Grabbed The Turkey By The Neck And Slit [the Animal's] Throat. Blood And Feathers Went Flying. I Had Sentenced That Turkey To Death! Up Until Then, I Didn't Know Where Meat Came From—and I've Been A Vegetarian Ever Since.