The Two Best Things You Can Do

Men Are Only As Unfaithful As Their Options.

Eddie Murphy Is To Comedians What Nicki Minaj Is To Spanx.

I Got Love From My Family. I Don't Really Need Love From A Paper, You Know What I Mean? I Can't Get Too Happy Because Somebody Said Something Nice About Me. I Appreciate It, But Let's Not Get It Twisted - This Is Not Changing My Life.

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me A Faggot! When The War's Over, I'll Be The Faggot With Two Legs, Thank You!