The Trouble With European Cities Is That

Did You Know That Allah Promises You A Seat In Paradise If You Kill A Christian?

Now You Can Leave Home At Any Time You Like.your Mother Comes Down And Finds A Picture Of The Eiffel Tower On Her Plate. And She Says, 'oh! Rosemary's Gone To Paris. No Wonder The Bathroom Was So Tidy.' And Nobody Minds. But In My Day, To Go Abroad With All Those Wicked Frenchmen, What Would Become Of Them? So No-one Ever Went Anywhere.

I Am Told That You Regret Not What You Did But What You Didn't Do; And So That's Why I Do Everything, So As Not To Have Any Regrets.

Life Was A Funny Thing That Happened To Me On The Way To The Grave.

I Came First To America In 1977 At The Invitation Of A Man Who Wanted To Make My Life Story Into A Musical. But My Agent Said It Was Not To Be And It Was Never Done. So I Went Back, But I'd Seen New York, And I Wanted To Live There. Because Everybody Talks To You In The Street. See, Nobody Talks To You In England.