The Role Of The Comedian Is To

I Loved When Bush Came Out And Said, 'we Are Losing The War Against Drugs.' You Know What That Implies? There's A War Being Fought, And The People On Drugs Are Winning It.

People Say To Me, Hey, Bill, The War Made Us Feel Better About Ourselves. Really? What Kind Of People Are These With Such Low Self-esteem That They Need A War To Feel Better About Themselves? May I Suggest, Instead Of A War To Feel Better About Yourself, Perhaps... Sit-ups? Maybe A Fruit Cup? Eight Glasses Of Water A Day?

They Believe The Bible Is The Exact Word Of God - Then They Change The Bible! Pretty Presumptuous, Hu Huh? "i Think What God Meant To Say..."

I Smoke. If This Bothers Anyone, I Suggest You Look Around At The World In Which We Live And Shut Your F-kin' Mouth.

Sometimes My Dad Even Gets On This Kick--'you Hate This Country'....i Have To Tell Him...i Just Hate Being Lied To.