The Only Women I Publicly Date Are

I've Always Tried To Learn From The Greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... It's Just That There's This Tremendous Pressure To Correct All The Things They Got Wrong.

I'm Kind Of Jealous Of The Life I'm Supposedly Leading.

Incognito Mode? What Do They Have To Hide? Zach Braff Doesn't Have Anything To Hide - Zach Braff Lays It All Out There For Everybody To See. That Is Zach Braff's Secret To Zach Braff's Success.

Women Are Like Parking Spots, The Best Ones Are Handicapped.

It's Not That George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People, God Made Hurricanes, Not People Who Can't Swim.