The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

I Found Out That If You Made People Laugh, They Like You. Most People Got To Like Me Because I Made Them Laugh. When They Didn't, I Hit Them.

Don't Carry A Grudge. While You're Carrying The Grudge, The Other Guys's Out There Dancing.

At The Sahara, The Seats Are Banked And Most Of The Audience Is Looking Down At The Stage. Everybody In The Business Knows: Up For Singers, Down For Comics. The People Want To Idealize A Singer. They Want To Feel Superior To A Comic. You're Trying To Make Them Laugh. They Can't Laugh At Someone They're Looking Up To.

What Makes A Comedian Has Nothing To Do With Religion. Think Of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, Who Were All Catholics.