The Legend Goes That St. Patrick Drove

Don't You Hate When People Are Late To Work. And They Always Have The Worst Excuses. "oh, I'm Sorry I'm Late, Traffic." "traffic, Huh? How Do You Think I Got Here; Helicoptered In!?"

I Have A Great Career, And I Have Wonderful Fans Who Really Are Supportive And Loyal - Because I'm Not Hiding Anything From Them.

All Of My Friends Were Seeing A Therapist, And I Thought Something Was Wrong With Me That I Didn't See A Therapist. So I Went To A Therapist To Find Out Why I Wasn't Seeing A Therapist. And It Turns Out I'm Very Screwed Up. Thank God I Found A Therapist To Tell Me For $125 An Hour.

There Are People Who Study Germs. I Believe They Are Called Germans

I See Those Picketers, And I Think You Know, If I Weren't A Loving, Non-violent, Spiritual Person, I Would Really Go Over There And Grab Those Signs And Smash Them Over Their Heads And Shove Them Up Their Asses. But...i'm A Loving, Spiritual Person.